How to Talk to Your Spouse Who Says You Work Too Much

Strong marriages and relationships require attention from both partners. This balance of attention to spouse versus earning a living or furthering your career can be difficult to find. And, once you have found a balance that works in your relationship, things change and you have to find the balance again.

Why do some people overwork? The Overworking Spouse may be under considerable stress on the job, or may have a boss that demands long hours. Or maybe there are layoffs coming up and the less productive workers are the first to go. Maybe one partner has to work long hours just to support the family. On the other hand, the overworking spouse may be strongly identifying with career advancement to the exclusion of the marriage. Of course, we should be involved in work that is worthwhile, fulfilling and financially rewarding but over focus can put the marriage at risk.

What can happen when you put your work/career first? Your spouse may be feeling emotionally disconnected from you and lonely. There may be a buildup of resentment which can lead to anger and finally bitterness-towards you. This situation often leads to unhappiness and discord for the entire family.

As a psychologist who has worked for 20 years counseling couples in my therapy practice in North St. Paul, MN, I met with Amy and Josh with just this complaint. Amy was complaining that she was overburdened because Josh worked too much and left her with the responsibilities of home, children, and her own 40-hour job. He knew she was right but he felt defensive when she tried to tell him how to manage his work schedule. He’d started complaining that when wasn’t very affectionate lately and always blamed her disinterest in their physical intimacy on fatigue. He asked to meet with me individually after Amy had had a session to talk about her “side”of the problem. He was appreciative that she was not as naggy as she had been in the past, but he still felt blamed and criticized.

When Josh and I met, we talked of the reasons that he was spending so much time at work. The usual reasons people overwork is that they are feeling under considerable stress on the job, or may have a boss that demands long hours. Or maybe there are layoffs coming up and the less productive works are the first to go. Maybe one partner has to work long hours just to support the family. On the hand, the overworking spouse may be strongly identifying with career advancement to the exclusion of the marriage.

Drs. John and Julie Gottman, in their book 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, suggest the following questions:

1.What does your work mean to you?

2.What pleasure or satisfaction does work bring to you?

3.What need does working fulfill in your life?

4.Does your work related to some personal legacy you would like to contribute to the world?

In a discussion with Josh, he pointed out that he was trying to make headway in his career now, while he was still young and had the energy. He knew his wife was doing a good job parenting their two small children (3 years and 9 months) so he wanted to focus on earning good money for his family. At first, he couldn’t understand why Amy was complaining so much because he was doing all this work for her and their children. He felt it was his responsibility. He wanted to provide his children with a fund for their education.

I suggested he consider the questions listed above. He said that his work is very satisfying in that he felt very confident and capable at work. He also wanted to meet his father’s expectations who had had a successful career. His older two brothers had moved from job to job and he knew his father was disappointed that they had difficulty supporting their families.

It was important for Josh to understand the underlying reasons for his excessive hours at work. He did not have a demanding boss and he was in no threat of a layoff. He just wanted to do the right thing. He had not thought of himself as having value over and above that of a worker and wage earner. He resigned himself to have a discussion with Amy. He said he would try to listen carefully about what Amy was longing for when she complained to him. I suggested he try to imagine the experiences she wanted to have with him and not to focus on her criticisms.

When Amy and Josh came for the next couple’s session, they wanted to further discuss the overworking situation. (They no longer saw the problem as residing inside one of them but as a problem the two of them need to figure out.) Any was able to explain to him what she missed when he work so much. He came to get a sense that his contribution to their family was not solely a financial responsibility. He heard her tell him he was also loved, appreciated, and needed as a friend, confidant and co-parent. She especially enjoyed his easy humor with their children and felt he was the only one who would be able to provide that.

This was a difficult issue for this couple and it was not resolved quickly. They were able to discuss their needs and wants in a different way when they addressed the questions about the underlying reasons for their positions.

Why Healthy Food For Diet?

People already know that they need healthy food for diet. The problem is, not many of them really understand the meaning of it. Most of them are more interested in the diet itself than more the healthy food. Well, we need to get it right because there will be no result for our diet without we eat the right kind of healthy food.

Before we talk about the kind of food, we need to understand the meaning of diet. Diet is a way of controlling the amount of food and the kind of food entering our body in order to get a healthy body. So there are two things that we need to keep in mind, the amount and the kind of food. Actually by eating the right kind of foods, we do not need to worry to much about the amount.

Why? Because by choosing the right kind of food that can actually burn fat and help us gain muscle, and avoiding the kind of food that only encourage our body to store fat, we do not need to worry anymore either we should eat more or less. The more we eat, the more we burn fat and gain muscle.

For an optimum health, we also need foods that contain carbohydrates, protein, vitamins, minerals, and fat. We need all those nutrients so that our body can perform an optimum metabolism. So if you are following a diet or weight loss plan that recommend you not to eat one of them, you better STOP NOW.

We can actually find these foods anywhere. Lean meats and steaks, raw fruit, raw nuts, vegetables, olive oil are sources of healthy food. The key is choose raw or less processed foods.

Choosing Ringbearer Gifts Does Not Have to Be A Bear

The significance of wedding rings is best illustrated in people's fear of losing them. There are people who boast of having never removed their wedding ring since their wedding day, though this is sometimes due to changes to their weight since they said, "I do." But really, how important are wedding rings? Moreover, how many times have we heard of what a nightmare it is to lose your ring? We hear stories of people losing their rings in the labyrinth of pipes underneath the kitchen sink. Then, there was the movie "American Wedding," in which wacky Steve Stiffler accidentally feeds the bride's wedding ring to a dog. Clearly, wedding rings are very important. Consequently, even though the ringbearer is one of the shortest members of the bridal party, his is the task of the tallest order. So, when you choose ringbearer gifts, keep in mind the critical role that your ringbearer plays.

The Ringbearer
The use of ringbearers is fairly modern. They tend to be young brothers or nephews of the bride or groom, and usually range in age from 5 to 10. In weddings that are formal, the ringbearer, or pageboy, has one of two different functions. First, the ringbearer might carry the bridal party's rings on a huge white satin pillow. Boys will be boys, and almost anything could happen during his waddle down the aisle. Usually, the best man himself secures the rings, or thread is used to attach the rings onto the ringbearer's pillow.

Another function of the ringbearer is to carry the bride's train, if it is lengthy.

The Basics
Whether the ringbearer totes the rings or holds the train, make him feel special through your choice of ringbearer gifts. For example, consider what your ringbearer likes. Here are some ringbearer gifts that might ring well with him.

Ring Bearer Fun Box Gift: This is decorated to look like a Ringbearer's tuxedo. Inside it is fun games, cookies, and candies.

Ringbearer Baseball Cap: This will remind the boy that he was in the starting lineup of the wedding ceremony.

Space Magic Cookie Pot: This is a bouquet that is packed with cookies and candies. What kid says no to sweets?

Ringbearer Activity Tote Bag: This is a fabric bag with several gift items inside.

Personalized Gifts
Aside from the obvious height difference, kids and adults are not too different from each other. Like adults, kids want to feel special, too. Personalized ringbearer gifts help you do just that. Here are a few personalized ringbearer gifts to consider.

Personalized Baseball: This will make any little leaguer feel like a big leaguer. The ball is mounted on a walnut-finish stand.

Ringbearer T-shirt: This will let your mini lord of the rings remember the special day. How could he not with his name is printed on the shirt?

Personalized Silver Plated Yo-Yo: Give a new twist to the old toy! Each time your ringbearer uses this ringbearer gift, he will remember his walk down the aisle.

Being the ringbearer in a wedding can be daunting for any youngster. Help your ringbearer enjoy the task by giving him a well-thought out ringbearer gift. Carefully chosen ringbearer gifts will make your wedding day one that will always ring a bell in your little ringbearer's mind.

Furniture Store Marketing – Generate Tons of Customers by Partnering With Other Furniture Stores

Partnering with other home furnishing stores is a joint venture strategy that most home furnishing store owners have probably never even considered. It is probably because this joint venture strategy will require you to be really confident and comfortable in your own business.

Otherwise it would seem like you are risking losing your customers to another furniture store, but that is not true. The key to this strategy is partnering with other furniture store companies that do not sell the same types of products that you sell. Now, just to be clear about this strategy; you will not be switching lists with other home furnishing stores, you will be creating a in store coupon or referral program to use this strategy.

Partnering with other home furnishing stores allows you to gain access to customers who you certainly know are in the market for home furnishings. For example, if there is a store in your area which sells picture frames, fake plants and other various home supplies, ask them to allow you to have a podium stand or counter display stand filled with coupons as a bonus for shopping at their store.

In return you could have the normal mailing to your customers or also allow them to have a floor display on your showroom floor. There are many ways to manage these types of joint ventures, so be flexible and ask your potential partners about their specific needs and wants.

Examples can include stores that sell:

Washers & Dryers

Television & Electronics

Windows

Custom Closets